And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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