I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
