Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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