So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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