Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Found the puke drawer
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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