don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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