i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
