i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
