once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
