I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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