I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
