I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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