Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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