but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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