butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
