Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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