he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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