is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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