So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
