I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize