Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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