Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
