I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
