I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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