Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
