I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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