I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
