I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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