Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
