WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
