Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
