If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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