Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
