He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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