why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
