My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
