So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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