stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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