Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
