dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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