i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
