If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
