There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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