literally had 100 drinks last night.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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