Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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