life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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