Me too!
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
