I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
