Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
