O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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