Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
