So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
