What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
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