whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
whose parrot is this?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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