Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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