FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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