I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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