I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize