I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
