so that wasnt chicken after all
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
