Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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