playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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